My favourite Pool columns of 2018


I’ve been writing about parenting for The Pool since my older son (now four) was 10 weeks old, and authoring their Up With The Kids columns since 2016.

Last year I launched The Pool’s weekly parenting newsletter (you can read all previous issues here). Here are my favourite columns from last year. All illustrations below by the wonderful Naomi Wilkinson.

Parents can suck at adulting, too

In which I learn that adulthood and being a grown-up aren’t the same thing.

There is no earthly way to give a toddler a decent haircut

The trauma of a wriggly child and a wonky fringe.

Is it wrong that I fancy Lord Tumble?

(I know, I know)

Potty-training, bribery and the poo emoji

Whatever gets the pee in the pot, I say.

Attachment parenting was never my plan

But life throws you curveballs and sometimes those curveballs won’t sleep anywhere but your bed.

I am not a morning person

So how come everyone else in my house is?

I am not my postnatal depression

And you aren’t yours, either.

And this is where Mummy learned to roll a joint…

How do you explain your multicultural heritage to your kids when you’re a stone-cold dumbass?

Dear second baby, you are so loved

What’s your name again, though? Mummy is very tired.

Is my ideal Mother’s Day even possible?

I just want to read a book and drink a hot coffee.

How the hell do you have sex when you have young children?